November 15, 2005

You know You've Been Dealing with CF too long when ...

Azer is off of the antibiotics and seems to be doing ok!

I received this from a CF parents messenging group. I thought ya'll might like to read it. Some of it is really funny.

You Know You've Been Dealing With CF Too Long When ....

- You've used puppets, toys, sung, danced, pleaded and generally made a fool out of yourself all in an effort to get your child to eat.

- You've stockpiled enough applesauce to start your own factory

- You find loose enzyme beads literally everywhere, the car, your clothes, -the ceiling (not joking)

- You count more calories than sheep

- You add salt to everything and use butter as a general cooking base even when a recipe doesn't call for it

- You panic when your child sneezes

- Your child coughs and you immediately chant "Xopenex four times a day!"

- You check websites daily for news about a cure

- Your house has more medications than the pharmacy

- You've actually found yourself explaining a medication to the pharmacist instead of the other way around

- You've considered dying all your child's clothes yellow to hide the vitamin stains

- Your medical bills are looking more and more like the national debt

-You've prayed for your child to be fat

-You have a strong urge to smack whiny parents of "normal" kids

-You've actually found yourself exclaiming angrily in the grocery store upon discovering extra-cheesy mac doesn't have more calories than regular (sadly true)

-You know what the poopie dance is, and you've done it

-You've had long involved discussions with other parents about poo

-You've started referring to everything in acronyms (CPT, PA, MRSA...)

-You're seriously considering a medical degree, cause at this point you know more than most doctors

-You've reduced a complete stranger to tears by yelling at them not to touch the baby

-You can describe the hospital's daily menu in exact detail

-Purel and Lysol are your new best friends

-You've considered life-long quarantine for your child

-You've told someone off for coughing near you or your child

-You have multiple doctors on speed dial

-You refer to CPT as your child's nightly beating

-You've bought a fancy baby scale for peace of mind

-The pediatrician sees you more often than their own staff

-You tend to refer to life AD & BD, After Diagnosis and Before Diagnosis

-You've cried over half a pound

-Your child comes with an instruction manual if you leave them with a sitter

-You've forgotten what normal is

-You find empty enzyme capsules in your pockets

-Your child wears a neb mask more easily than they do a hat

-Your child has started trying to do their own CPT

-You own every Baby Einstein video made and are eagerly awaiting more just for something different

-You've forgotten to put meds in the nebulizer and actually let it run several minutes before discovering the problem

-Your after clinic routine at home looks like a hazmat excercise
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